And you thought the Korean police were a bunch of useless fucks who can't do their jobs right seeing how they're slow to deal with the shit that's brewing in the dark underground dungeons under the magical land of unicorns and fairies known as Kpop.
"Core Contents Media recently announced that the alleged back-dancer testimony had been fabricated, and that they had determined this by tracking down the IP address and had submitted a request to the Police. However, the Seoul Seocho Police Department has come forth with a statement that seems to refute what CCM has previously stated"
“There is not a single report on file relating to Core Contents Media or T-ara,” said the police department. “The various reports saying that [CCM] has reported this to the cyber investigative squad is false.”
Ok, so the police didn't arrest or bust anyone for shit but CCM's definitely taken shit of the Hwayoung/T-ara to a whole new level. Why say the police were involved in the whole fake testimony shit when they weren't even told about the shit itself?
Christ, last thing anyone would wanna do is make the entire national and Seoul police force laugh their heads off at them like a bunch of hyenas.
Coming from a guy who's granddad was also a detective for the Korean police back in the 70s, this has got to be among the most ridiculous news statements I've ever heard between law enforcement and Kpop.
Pretty surprising the police didn't make a bigger fuss about this because one of the most silliest agencies of Kpop just used them as a shield for their contradicting shit. If I were the police chief, I woulda sent these guys in to take this guy down permanently.
Now, I'm sure people had been going all batshit crazy with the addition of some middle schooler in a group with fully grown women for some time. This time, our intel-gathering informers and agents didn't even need to snoop in for some info because some kindly folk (who I suspect is a delusional fangirl or fanboy) uploaded this shit in Youtube.
And you know what? I don't even. Just LOOK at that. Learning to introduce yourself is one of the most basic things you learn when learning to speak a language you don't know jack shit about.
And I thought Tiffany and Nicole had it worse but really? Dani takes the cake. If you can't even speak the goddamn language properly of the country you're gonna make money in, then I might as well enlist into the fucking Russian military with only an hour's worth of learning the damn language - and probably get hazed every minute for speaking it like shit. Koreans in Korea aren't going to put up with some kid debuting in an idol group who are grossly fail in the language. Christ, even Victoria, Luna and Nickhunt (even when drunk) speak better thant she does.
And it's said that Dani will be designated as a fucking rapper while having not even a year's worth of training. What a joke. At this rate, anyone can debut as a member of a fucking popular group.
Hey Seungri, who's the one teaching you how to rap when you can't even speak the language properly? Assuming you're Seungri's long-lost-sister-recently-found or some shit, I'm guessing either TOP or GDruggin are your rap teachers then - or better yet, both are.
Also considering Seungri's pedophilic tendencies.....
A pedophile, beastiality lover and incest-obsessive. Gulp.
I'm sure many have heard about the bloated news about Dani, who will be so sadly joining T-ara in December (yea, fuck you CCM) - but the 8th member, Areum - who happens to be a high school senior, had little information about her released in comparison.
Captain No.88 reported that our informants within CCM were unable to find real significant amounts of info due to tightened security but still managed to gather some pieces of the puzzle and leak it to the press (no, they're not getting a pay raise)
Now, this is what Areum looks like
Meh. Some say she's pretty, some no. Personally, she looks like a clumsy oaf who'd trip over her own shoes every day. But that's my call. YOU can think how you want.
Now, this is what our informants had to say - Areum's parents were (or still are, we never got hold of this one) in the music industry. Certainly, she would have gotten her parents connections to get in (Midget Boram is also a suspected case) an already well-known idol group. I don't know how influential her parents are but to get put in a popular group at such a time probably means they either bribed, coerced or whatever at KKS to get her in. That's nepotism straight up the next level - enough to make Sunny and her uncle's case look like nothing.
Yes, Sunny, someone now has taken the spot of ultra nepotism in Kpop. Celebrate all you want as antis shift their focus towards Areum for the time being while T-ara's fandom erupts into civil war.
Some may wonder though - with only 3 members in T-ara who are decent enough singers, while the rest are practically backup dancers, does Areum have anything to offer? Judge it yourself.
Honestly, I don't really find it that great but that's me. You can also go on Youtube and see that the uploader's name is 'CCMXAMC' - take out XAMC (whatever the fuck that means) and you get 'CCM'. Our analysts suspect that this uploader is highly likely to be a pro-CCM stanner or a Crap Cunt Morons employee (yes, Korea has its own English-speaking employees too).
Supposedly, she auditioned for JYP but didn't make it. Well, not that JYP is really much of a place for people with talent to begin with (Fuckcyeon, Nickhunt and Sofag, I'm looking at you) but then again, CCM is hardly any better (Cyclops, midget, Hwadog and mole-on-nose and pretty much the bulk of Co-Ed and its subs....who've been dead for God knows how long).
Conclusion of analysis - Areum's got nothing really spectacular about her other than her face and voice which is heavily subject to debate. Line distribution will get worse than it already is and of course, an internal war between the fans and CCM employees disguised as fans (that's right, KPIC is keeping a watch on you people)
Our informants in CCM will continue to keep watch for any new information that's worth notifying. Yes, CCM has its own lot of dissidents. T-ara isn't among them, however.
So I decided to make my own blog - Kpop Intel Corps.
As y'all see, Kpop Intel Corps (abbreviation - KPIC) is the intelligence- gathering branch in the world of Kpop and no, it's not a damn government organization nor contracted by those whopdick agencies like SM, JayWhyPee, Crap Cunt Moron, Pledicks, YG and so on to spread propaganda crap like their fans do all the time (ok CCM is an exception but you get what I mean).
Do I hate Kpop? No, not really. I don't mind it. It's a big industry in its own right.
But does it have a lot of issues that can be discussed and pointed out? Fuck yes. I can go on forever about it.
We have informers everywhere in the world of Kpop. Big Brother is watching you, Kpop. We got the informants. We got the agents. We got the equipment. We got the paramilitary rapid response teams and yaddi yaddi ya. Say hello to our representative, Captain No.88
Yes, he just loves mixing up his own gear with WW2 items in his spare time. Captain No.88 is in charge of all our field operations in gathering intelligence in anything noteworthy about Kpop, whether it be negative, positive or neutral news.
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